One thing that is bitter sweet for me is the ability to feel so much. Sometimes I wish I could be someone else and not feel so much. But there are times when I am so thankful for feeling the emotions that I do feel. I feel happiness and joy as food going in you after a long day of fasting. I can feel every part of my body coming alive, and it can last for days. But on the down side of feeling everything is when I feel sadness or aloneness I literally feel like I’ve been stabbed. If anyone really knows me you can completely tell I’m out of it, a matter of fact you don’t even need to know me lol. It’s something I am really trying to work on because I hate being the Debbie downer.

This blog is for the ones that struggle in feeling so much. When feeling so much sometimes you feel so alone because you’re trapped in this make believe the world, where everyone acts like things are fine but they’re not. Suppressing feeling never gets rid of feeling it just makes the problem grow. Passion creates love, passion creates connection and passion creates humanity. All of these components are one in the same but it’s really what makes the world go round.

With every positive, there is a negative. Passion can also create hate, disconnection and kill humanity. As I look around in the world you see so much hate for one another for various reasons; race, income level, who you associate with, religion etc. The number one trap I see humanity falling into a passion of money. I see it distorting the world in so many ways. I recently watched a documentary called “What The Health” and it just shows that humanity is willing to sacrifice lives for the passion of money. Passion is a powerful tool it can either change your world or distort it. So the question how do you control it?

I believe the battle in feeling so much is not searched what will make you feel better but what is right. What is right for not only you but for others. Perseverance Is going through hardship for an outcome for you and others. The key with channeling your passion for the good is to change your perspective on the situation at hand.

Most of the times I’m feeling a lot is when my eyes are open to how bad the world is and all the hurt I see. And the other is when I see the close people to me hurt. In both cases, I literally can feel everything the world feels or how the people close to me feels. I am still working on this but when these happens I remind myself that all things happen for the good – Roman 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.

I focus on the testimony of each individual and how amazing God is, using bad things to restore the world. I thank God for humbling us, any chance he gets because if not who knows where our passion would lead us. If you struggle with feeling so much it’s not a bad thing Jesus felt so much but he always focused on what was right for humanity and not what would make him feel for the moment. Be proud of your passion use it to empower others and bring genuine love to the ones that don’t know love. Passion was created to bring us together

Pray for me guys still working on this!


Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of the Spirit are fought to map change.

~ Muhammad Ali /Garrett lol ~

 

Maps always confused me growing up. All the lines on the map overwhelmed me and the distance to get where you planned, seem like a never ending story. The drive to wherever I went always bored me to death. Buts as I grew up I now enjoy the ride even more. I like seeing all the things we passed and I’m so amazed by the new things I see, and it blows me away when I look back to know how far we have gotten. The crazy thing is when I get to the destination I actually enjoy the journey more than the place.

 

Being 29 I still hate maps but the map of God is a map I have learned to love. Even though it’s possibly the hardest map to understand it’s still the most peaceful if you let it. No one will understand his map and no one will understand the journey but the one thing you will understand if you surrender is his love and trust. The journey will supply a wisdom of love you can never understand because he will catch you every time you feel alone. He will show you how all things work together and he will never leave you out of the equation. But the key to experiencing this journey is trust. Without trust is impossible to see anything.

 

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.

Yesterday I met a woman, she was homeless and struggles with letting go of the drugs that have held her back for so long. As I was speaking to her she just opened her life and told me she got raped as a little girl, and she never looked at herself the same way. She eventually got married and lived in a nice home, until one day her husband decided to leave her, this was the start of her homeless journey. She had no family this then lead her to be on the streets which then got her into drugs, now unconsciously desiring death. At this time she was in tears, and at the end, she looked up at me and said: “where is the love” at that moment the love was right in front of her. God had let me be apart of her journey and he put me in an equation that was beyond my self. I told her everything I saw in her and how God has a perfect plan for you if you hold on to him. She cried as if she hasn’t cried for years. She said no one has ever said anything about me since I have been homeless, everyone looks at me as if I have a disease of a criminal but not a human being.

I am so thankful to play a part in helping her get a home and off the streets. This experience made every problem in my life go out the door and just focusing on serving. The journey is a beautiful thing! Just open your eyes so you can see it! Follow the map and you will find that the map is really not a map its just there to show you how far you have gotten.


Working in LA, doing everyday outreach. I have seen a lot of heartbreaking things. I remember one of the first outreach I ever did was down in Skid Row, the heart of homelessness in downtown LA. It was like I was in a different city, everyone living in the most horrible condition. Many people on drugs and some that were not but just living there because it was one of the only places they could sleep without getting in trouble.I will never forget, as we set up tables and food there was this older lady screaming and throwing whatever she had towards us. It got to the point that many of my volunteers were scared. The older lady had a needle in her hand and was acting as if she was going to stab someone with it. I remember holding her arms down and looking her in her eyes and telling her you are hurting my feelings. She eventually calmed down and grabbed some food and left. Driving home I felt so heart broken because I pictured her being someone’s mother or even daughter and related her to my own family and it made me feel so connected but so hurt at the same time because I knew there was nothing I could do. This was the first taste of an overwhelming connection for others.

Going to Haiti opened my eyes to an emotion I can’t really explain. Even me trying to write it, it still doesn’t give its justice of what I feel. I always looked at emotions as trying to describe the shape of the air. You can only describe it as far as you can see it, but there are so many deeper areas your emotions touches as well as unseen areas that someone listening can only grasp, they can only connect to as far as you can see it. The best way I can describe what I felt in Haiti is the overwhelming feeling of the lack of love humanity is reaching. As I was in Haiti I didn’t really get to think about what I felt and actually take in what I saw, but when I came back and saw how much I am living in this bubble. A bubble of love with walls, a bubble knowledge with no action, a bubble of shame. The scripture that popped in my head was

1 John 4:21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

I had to ask myself did I really love these people in Haiti as my real brother or sister and every elder as my mother or father? Or what about the people in America, all the people I seed on skid row every day, do I see them as my own family?

When I came back from Haiti I was outreaching ( giving out food, hygiene kits etc) I began to meditate, looking at this older women as my very own mom. My heart began to break and the need to help her increased even more! I kept asking her is there anything thing she needs and as I was leaving I gave her the biggest hug just as if I was hugging my very own mom despite the way she smelled, look or even thought. I wanted her to know that I loved her.

A conviction I hold is to love outside the bubble. And not to let the bubble separate us from the biggest gift we can ever obtain. The ability to love! Love is what everyone wants but the world has taught us to keep the love where we can see it, and only give love if they return it. But God’s love is love that can’t be returning nor is it desired to be returned.

I pray that we have a new generation, with a new love a love that can change the world.


What Would It Take For You To Be Homeless!
I think many of us can wonder how can a person be homeless? Many believe it starts from the outside then works its way in. Meaning losing financial stability or broken relationships etc. Which in some cases this might be true, and for the most part when I do see this case most bounce right back. But for the majority of homelessness, it starts in the mind. You give up on the mission of life and you lose purpose. Your life becomes ruled by the pressures of the world.
As I do outreach almost every day I engage with some many people. And the one thing I see in common is the fear of responsibility. The fear of failure and the fear of the call of one’s purpose. When people fear these things they become weighed down by the pressure of the world and become a slave to that pressure. This leads the individual to drugs and drinking to numb out the pain of what “could” and not face the reality.
When I ask what would it take for you to be homeless? I’m really asking what will it take for you to give up? To give up to the purpose of God. Many of us can be homeless spiritual but physically have it all. Being homeless means living in a world without a home. Spiritual Homeless is much closer than what you think. Some of us give up our home with God when we give up the responsibility that God calls you to live by. This then produces homeless of the mind from a spiritual sense, Living with no purpose going through the motions of survival but always hearing in the back of the mind what is the point. Like many homeless people I run into the world, they try to go to every meeting and appointment they can but when it calls them to take on the ownership of their home they can possibility get, they run away and go back to the drug or person that keeps them in the place they are because they accept their behavior. Many of us get that way spiritually too… going to every church meeting doing what they are supposed to do but when you are called to take ownership of their sin then run! So we go back to the places that accept our sin and do it all over again.

 

 

Romans 1:21-23New International Version (NIV)

21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

 

 
I’ve experienced this spiritual homelessness before but I never realized how serious it was until working with the homeless community. I see how the longer you stay homeless the harder it is to live in a home. Your mind adapts to a certain lifestyle and even when you get a home because you live a certain way for so long they try to bring that lifestyle into a home and quickly they are back on the streets. Spiritually it is exactly the same… Take the challenge and ask yourself am I spiritually homeless? I’m I in a place where no one calls me to take ownership of my sin? Don’t let it get to late God has an amazing home for you. He is just waiting for us to come home to it.


 

The difference between transition and change is to change is moving into a whole new world you are not familiar with rather a transition is going in the same direction just a different path…. During the journey with Malachi I hit a very confusing time, Malachi has always been on the road of transitioning which then, of course, put me as a person in transition. Like any owner, you become married to your mission. Not to say I idolize Malachi but I did treat it as if it was apart of me. As I moved forward in another transition with Malachi I notice how much we have grown apart…This time transition produced change….Not change in Malachi but a change in me. Change that developed questions and these questions developed me. The one biggest question that motivated me for change was, I’m a really surrender to the destiny God has planned for me? or am I the God that is planning my destiny? During my journey of the many transitions I have had with Malachi I mastered the ability to display my faith.If anyone knows me, they know when it comes to Malachi I have tremendous faith.But one of the things I realized during this time of change, I had the faith of expectations of my own outcome rather than Gods, which is not faith at all. When I defined change as moving into a whole new world you are not familiar with, this is the faith I desired but was too afraid to live in. I believe God has used many road blocks to lead me to take this step of true faith. It’s scary and quiet confusing but it causes me to be on my knees almost all the time which is exactly the place I need to be…
Don’t freak out I’m not letting go of Malachi, I’m just letting God be God this time around. I’m excited because I feel refilled which allows me to pour out even more to you! Change only makes the fire go in a different direction.
Keep Pushing! -Garrett
1 Corinthians 3:13-15New International Version (NIV)

13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.


Giving your heart is something we always hear but do we really know what it is? Do we really know what it looks like? I never understood it until this week, I give all the time to people in need but I never gave from the heart. To give from the heart is literally giving your heart to someone. This is hard because they can possibly step on it, drop it by not be careful or even losing it leaving it there for it to root and dye. It’s a scary idea and I understand why many people run from it, and even think they give their hurt but unconsciously maybe not be ( Like Me).

Mark 14:34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”

Jesus gave his heart, and the result was everyone he gave his heart to step on it. Judas betrayed him, Peter denied him and everyone he ever loved he took the penalty of their sin for. Jesus was to the point of sorrow because he knew all these things would happen but yet he still did it.

Giving your heart isn’t giving your heart at a distance, you can’t give something to someone without giving it to them if that makes sense. From my experience the only way to experience amazing Joy! A God-gave joy that can’t leave you. I’m talking about a joy that when you think about it, you get so happy you get emotional joy. This joy can’t be obtained without the process of giving your heart. When giving your heat, it produces loyalty, trust, and true love.

Being like Jesus is hard now but if you really want to see miracles and to feel that overwhelming joy… give your heart. You will get hurt but when you get hurt you gain wisdom and understanding.In Gods world, its a win, win! Just imagine the world that gave their hearts rather than giving from a distance.

Giving your heart is the key to seeing God in your life. Just like everything, anything you value takes sacrifice those who sacrifice see God.


The Sin You Can Never See.

As an early Christian, your sins are so easy to spot. You see all the surface sin that you know was wrong you just didn’t want to give up just yet. As you get older in your walk with God the sins that get revealed are more and more disgusting. As your heart desire’s change to be more like Jesus, you learn to hate sin and when you see it in you, you just want to crawl under a rock.

 

I have been really trying to walk this walk for a little over 3 years and at this particular time in my life, I am beginning to see how much pride I actually have. When you study pride you learn to understand how horrible it really is. If you really think about it, pride stems from every sin you can think of. For example, lying, you don’t want to be wrong or you don’t believe God will deliver you from the situation so you take the matter into your own hands. Sexually immoral, you don’t believe God will fulfill you with the right person or fill the wholeness you are missing so you take matters into your own hands. The list can go on! Pride is one of the most blinded sins, you can never see it and if you have too much you will never listen when someone tells you about it.

 

I recently broke my ankle causing me to rely on everyone around me. If anyone knows me they know I don’t like to ask for help. So you can only imagine me getting around trying to do things on my own. At this moment I was not only able to hear my sin that people have been telling me for years but now I can see it! I saw how I can take some people for granted and have this sense of self-entitlement. It was the ugliest thing I witnessed about myself. But this view of myself has caused me to repent.
Look at pride as deadly as any other sin. Pride is what got satan to where he is today. He thought he was better than God. Every time we take matters into our own hands, we are believing that we are better than God. I don’t know about you but that hurts to even say! If you are having trouble getting closer to God ask yourself how much do you rely on him? How much do you pray? Do you honestly believe everything you have and everything you are is God’s? Or do you think your earned it? He doesn’t bless you for you! He blesses you for others.


What Is Christmas?

 

In today’s society I believe we have lost track of what Christmas really is. We make God invisible and create a celebration focused on our self. We have created a character to mask the true giver of our gifts. I mean think about it There is this man that comes from the north pole that knows if you are naughty or nice?? Sounds a little familiar? What about the little elves that Santa Claus has?? Sounds like the replica of Angels! The whole character of Santa Claus is the American God. Christmas has become a self center holiday that focuses inwardly and not enough about God. We give gifts to each other without recognition or glory to who gave us the financial resources to give. Aren’t we supposed to celebrate the gift God gave to us first? After all, this is what we are celebrating right?   I mean technically Jesus birthday wasn’t on Christmas, but if it is what we are celebrating we should recognize him right?

 

The question is what does God want?

 

Hebrew 11: 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

 

If faith is what pleases God then faith is what needs to be exercised during the time we celebrate Jesus. What does it look like for you to exercise your faith this year? How can you please God with it? One area is loving people that can’t give you anything. Faith is displayed through love because when loving fully your at risk of being hurt. In the possibility of being hurt, you believe and trust God in  His comfort, that God will lead you through.
I want to challenge you…focus on God this year and give the gift that matters. Exercise your faith and love for those who’ve done nothing for you and love on those that may be a little harder to love, those are who need it the most. Love people the way Jesus Loved you!


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People around you are all looking for hope! Lets make this month the start of a new habit. No longer focus inwardly but outwardly. Focusing on how we can be that hope! Jesus Lead by serving lets put his art of leadership into practice! Listed below are a list of challenges for the month! First one to finish them all we will send you a free shirt!!

Lets be the light!

 

1.Tweet or Facebook message a genuine compliment to three people right now.

2.Email or write an old teacher who made a difference in your life.

3.Leave a nice server the biggest tip you can afford.

4.Forgive someone, and never bring up the issue again.

5.When everyone around you is gossiping about someone, be the one to butt in with something nice.

6.Write someone a letter. Like a real letter, on paper. And mail it!

7.Stop to talk to a homeless person.

8.Talk to someone at work whom you have’t talked to before.

9.Plant a tree.

10.Make two lunches and give one away.

11.Pick up some flowers and give it to the first single mom you see.

12.Say yes at the store when the cashier asks if you want to donate $1 to whichever cause

13.Send a surprise book to someone from an online retailer


Now think of that child as a young adult, and that toy is personified as sex. Think of what people will do when they are suddenly deprived of the experiences they had with that one person. They will cross oceans, conquer nations, and work their fingers to the bone to get it back. And all the while, they think of nothing else…they are wholly, ruthlessly focused on re-acquiring the “love” that they’ve been deprived of, and nothing will stand in their way. Eventually they later realize that sex is not the center of our life.

When you decide to wait until marriage to have sex, you realize the toy is only an imagination to what love really is but not the real thing. Many people in this case worship the fulfilment of this toy. It gives them purpose and worth and the only way to fill love is to keep giving it.

As stated in our previous blog, Oxytocin is the hormone released in both men and women when intimacy occurs. Oxytocin can be easily fabricated, just with close contact to another human being (or a pet). Just twenty seconds of hug contact, even with a stranger (with a tolerable level of body odor), can dramatically boost levels of oxytocin. It is very much the bonding glue for humans. To further complicate things during intimacy, oxytocin is produced more in women, whereas dopamine is produced more in men. Dopamine is the pleasure high that tells our body that we desire things. This hormone is what leads humans to addiction. This difference in the release of these hormones explains how a relationship not founded on God, will be founded on science. Thus, the women will want intimacy, and the men will just want pleasure.

When you start to get distracted, you will remember this great thing that you are missing — this favorite toy that you’ve willfully set high on a shelf — and you will refocus yourself, and drive ahead harder and harder…until one day you win it. And it’s everything you thought it would be.